What’s the opposite of a hipster? A napster

Why did TEN die because he was in the middle of 9/11

What are golfers afraid of? The bogey monster

*throws up gang signs* *never eats gang signs again*

Why is PBS asking me for money? If I had money I wouldn’t need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment.

What do you call a Spanish man with a rubber toe? Robeerto.

I think I’ve lost an electron. Ion a minute, are you positive?

I went to the doctors with hearing problems He said “Can you describe the symptoms?” I said “Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair”

Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Let’s do it. Let’s live in a homeless man’s beard.

Ive tried everything to get my dog to behave. Ive tried shoving it into a wool tube, stabbing it in the neck and head, etc. nothing works.