Fred Willard got arrested for jerking off in a porn theater. Well, at least he can honestly say his newest release is in theaters now!

“So, why do you want to be a doctor?” Because I can never be patient.

What’s the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon. Ones fun to smash with a mallet and the other ones a dead baby.

A necklace and a little plane on it. The man was staring at the little plane on the woman’s necklace The woman: Do you like the plane? The man: No! I like the airport.

Its poor! But, What happens when Supper stars fart in public? lol

Why is Nicolas Cage’s radio so loud? He doesn’t know how to turn things down

I always wanted to be Batman when I was younger. Not because of the money or the gadgets. I just hated my parents.

What did the father Buffalo say to his son as he left for school? Bison

i sneezed and all my butt drugs fell out

Grandma walks into a butcher’s shop Grandma: “Hi, I’d like to buy one baloney.” Butcher: “Pre-sliced or in one piece?” Grandma lifts her skirt and says: “Does this look like a CD player to you?”