Helicopter crash A helicopter crashed today over a cemetery on the outskirts of the city. So far the authorities have recovered over 200 bodies.

Chem students do it on the table periodically.

I would put a web cam in my shower to make extra money, but I would hate having to only sing public domain songs.

So my neighbour… So my neighbour asks me if I’ve been stealing her clothes off of her washing line, I was so shocked I almost shat in her pants!

Frankly, I adore your mom. She said I’m the funniest motherfucker that’s ever been up in this bitch! And she wasn’t talking about Twitter.

I’m invincible. I can not be Vinced

I went to bed with a 7 and woke up with a 10. Forced upgrades should be illegal, Microsoft.

Did you hear about the Jewish kamikaze pilot? He crashed his plane into his brother’s scrap yard.

When a chicken pukes at a party… is that called a PARTY FOWL???

When you get a brain freeze from a margarita you know you have problems