It’s hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars.

When you watch Jersey Shore, Darwin cries.

Two cannibals were having lunch. “Your wife makes a great soup” said one to the other. “Yes!” agreed the first. “But I’m going to miss her terribly.”

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a repost

What do they call the Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with Cheese.

Me: WHO DREW ON THE WALL?! 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: The dog.

What do you call a red neck invasion? An incestation

What do you call a blind deer? No eye-deer. What do you call a blind, dickless deer? No fucking eye-deer. What do you call a blind, dickless, quadruple amputee deer? Still no fucking eye-dear.

Why doesn’t people with two dicks get into the porn industry? Because they know they’ll be fucked over. Edit: Don’t, not doesn’t. Sorry can’t change title.

What do you call a math teacher in an anime? Sin Pi