What do you get when you have Windows and Mac OS X dual booting from the same computer? A co-operating system.

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda-pressing

What did the big hairy monster do when he lost a hand? He went to the second-hand shop.

What does a black policeman says when he looks in the mirror GET DOWN ON THE GROUND

If you like airborne fecal matter you’ll love being alive on earth

I want a polka band at my funeral. I’m the one who’s dead, let ’em suffer.

Glass coffins – will they catch on? Remains to be seen!

I respect you, liquor store shopping cart user.

What do you call a Canadian that’s been run through a blender? Pure-eh

I’ve been trying to give myself a sexchange… but I just can’t pull it off.