He died doing what he loved Making toast in the shower

Definitions Bigamist – An Italian fog. Myfunsalow – “I am broke” in Italian. Innuendo – Italian for suppository.

Where do you buy a Walrus? WalMart!

An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, beer garden, hangout, lounge, night club, mini bar, bar stool, tavern, pub, beer, wine, whiskey…

I thought I saw a pizza in the sexy underwear ad. …oops, wrong subliminal

My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I’m fearful of her college days.

Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.

What did the customer say to the overworked seamstress? Wow, you seamstressed out. (I’m so sorry)

Iggy Azalea must have an infinitely high viscosity because she got no flow.

My friend just told me he has a chocolate lab. Turns out it’s a dog, not a place. Bummer.