What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road? Rust-in-peace.

Therapist: what was it like growing up? Me: I just [reaches for tissues] kept getting taller.

always carrying a megaphone in case you have to sigh at someone far away

How to break into comedy Crack a joke

polish priest sacked by the Vatican…… Well that’s really taken the shine off the pope 🙂

My husband got some virtual reality goggles for christmas and so far I like them because they make him very vulnerable to attack.

That’s a great river Dam it!

Why was the mother cow mad at father cow? Because she had beef with him.

Did you hear about the live performance about the dictionary? I heard it was a play on words.

Remember the guy who lost his left side? He’s *alright* now