Why couldn’t Helen Keller drive Because she was a woman

Commas can change the meaning of a sentence. Example: I like to eat apples. —> I like to eat commas.

Why did Mozart kill his chickens? They were yelling “Bach Bach Bach Bach”

I find it really hard to tell jokes on reddit. I always punch up the fuckline.

anything is pocket sized if your ass is big enough

Is there a scientific name for the state where you’re not hungry but you want to keep eating, besides “awake”

I have beautiful children Thank god my wife is having affairs

Why is it called a “network of computers streaming Disney movies to cows” and not “Moo-LAN”

You should never trust a person as far as you can throw them. Needless to say, I trust the fuck out of babies.

My Girlfriend wanted me to give her anal. I said fuck that shit.