What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

If a man masseur refuses to give a massage to a woman Is he a misogynist?

BERNIE: all people deserve to be treated equally HILLARY: the oposite of “bernie sanders” is “soakey waterers” BERNIE: … HILLARY: pls fav/rt

What’s black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers.

I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis.

Why do skinny men like fat women? Because they need warmth in winter and shade in summer.

What’s the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds? There’s twenty of ’em!

Terrifying to think that every Chinese person is a deadly karate-bomb, just waiting for the slightest provocation to explode.

Single life might be lonely, but at least I’m always with my favorite person