Math proves girls are evil

Ugh! I always think of the best comebacks when I’m burying the body.

Why do clowns make bad entrepreneurs? Because they’re into some funny business

What is the worst thing to come across whilst surfing the web? Your keyboard!! (credits to NCS)

Girls think I’m ugly, until they find out how much money I make… …then they think I’m ugly and poor.

The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the hear the word FACIAL

Don’t worry if you’re not part of a clique. You can get the same experience by running through a minefield.

Q: You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Polak is there? A: He’s the one with a duck.

i couldn’t tell you, officer, they were wearing masks, they could have been any group of armed anthropomorphic turtles

Just got hired on at a high end restaurant, my main job so far has been oyster preparation And I’ve gotta say, it really shucks