They are starting to print new Euro notes… …on grease proof paper.

You know what they say about killing bees… It’s a real buzzkill.

If I can use dollar bills to make it rain, are dollar coins golden showers?

do u know the muffin man the muffin man the muffin man do u know the muffin man that lives on d-d-d-d-d-d DROP THE BASS *club goes nuts*

Have you heard about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It’s gonna take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by a chicken

How do you kill a hipster? By drowning it in the mainstream

Pokemon GO is a blatant ripoff of another popular app… called Tinder, where you also swipe to find monsters in your area.

A farmer plants a field of dildos. What does he get? Squatters.

I wish I hadn’t spoken French to my cat. Now he thinks he’s the king of Iran.