Have you ever heard of the similarities between a choo choo tran and a brthday? Neither have i

I got accused of date rape once in college, but that’s ridiculous. It wasn’t a date.

7/11 was a part time job

Did you hear about the popcorn that was demoted? He used to be a kernel.

What do you call having sex in a canoe? Bud Light, because it’s fucking close to water.

Two gay deer walk out of a bar… One turns to the other and says “damn dude, I cant beleive you blew twenty bucks in there”

What do I say when my favorite spice knocks on the door? Cumin!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer……. I’m not sure what he laced them with but I’ve been trippin’ all day

People say I’m the Lebron James of Comedy… Because I’m balding and Delonte West had sex with my mother

Sorry about this in adavance What part of a vegetable **can’t** you eat? The wheelchair