“Fuck it” – guy in charge of naming the hot air balloon

I always squat on the floor, wrap my arms around my knees and lean forward Cause that’s how I roll.

Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet 🙁

Marijuana is the answer! (I don’t remember the question)

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl when it pees? Because the p is silent.

I was in the middle of a selfie and my mother walked in, now all she can say is “don’t worry son everyone’s doing that.”

People think having crabs is a bad thing. Still, at least something’s sucking my cock.

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing…They’re both stuck up cunts.

How do you stop a rhino from charging? You take away its USB cable.

I like my women how I like my drinks Soft and extra large.