If someone upsets you, write a nasty letter and file it away before you say something you might regret. Then punch the person in the face.

Irish joke So three Irish men walk out of a bar

The clearer your conscience, the more likely you are to answer a call from an unknown number.

I just ate four cans of alphabet soup… …and just had the largest vowel movement ever.

Why is it so expensive to live in Ireland? Cause they keep *Dublin* the taxes.

I’ll try to explain the concept of lubricated soap…. …but its quite difficult to grasp.

What’s the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake ? You can make a pet out of a snake !

What is worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

what’s that word for when you’re peeling off a sticker & it comes off in 1 perfect strip & it’s better than love or joy or any human emotion

Her: My father is very upset that I’m your girlfriend. Me: Well, duh, I’m very upset that you’re my girlfriend…