I’m blonde. What’s your excuse?

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was charged with battery. XD

Why are cops so bad at pool? Because they can’t resist hitting the black ball.

Why do support meetings for premature ejaculation always start on time? Because the members come early.

If I got karma for posts… I’d still have no karma

I’m quitting drinking for good. Now I drink for evil.

A guy wins a contest s] A guy wins a contest at home depot Home depot manager:”Alright sir for your prize would you rather have a ladder or 1 million dollars?” Man:”I’ll take the latter.”

What do you call a dictionary on drugs? Addictionary

So I tickled my little brothers feet this morning… … my mom got pissed and told me to wait until he was born.

Whats the closest a Mexican will ever be to happiness? The border.