I have a friend who’s half Indian. Ian

What is it called when a turtle is mentally retarded? Reptile disfunction. .

How to Get a Girlfriend: Out at Sea Me: *rocks boat* Her: Hey! Me: *rocks faster* Her: Can we PLEASE go steady? Me: I do.

I’m deeply in love with you. But hard deeply, like demented. Kind of sick if you know what I mean. I will most probably end up carving you up. Want a coffee?

Every joke posted on this sub is stolen from Sickipedia. If you are going to steal someones joke at least give credit.

Why didn’t the schizo cross the road He was in two minds about it.

Drugs made me responsible. If it weren’t for drugs I might have never started working at 15.

OMG you guys. I just got asked out. By a real live guy. I don’t know what to do!? Play dead? Duck and roll? I’m so confused!!

What did Ray Rice say the first time he met his girlfriend? “Dayuum. I’d hit that.”

Knock Knock Who’s there ! Astor ! Astor who ? Astor the ball is over !