When I go to Starbucks, I tell them my name is Marco. When my drink is ready and they call my name, I just keep saying Polo.

This venomous snake is pretty scary. What can we do to make it even scarier? Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES

Remember the 7-Mile Spanking Machine? Turns out there will also be a punch line.

What do hard-working grocery store clerks get every year? A celery increase.

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West… …could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

Trying to think of a joke about jerking off… I’m sure it will come.

What’s the difference between a public park and a public toilet? I need to know before my court date on Monday.

If you had to steal a bike from someone, who would it be? A black guy, because it’s probably already stolen.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can’t cross a vector and a scalar

Where do Peek-a-boo patients go? The ICU.