Philippe Petit walked between the twin towers in 1974, big deal, I can do that today with no training. Just made that up, I hope it’s not too soon.

Where did the Fonz go for his drinking problem? A-AAAAAAYYYYYYYY

I have a car! I had a car, Untill i woke up

I am… A joke !

Given the number of tampon’s wrappers in our trash either my wife is searching for the 1 with a Golden Ticket or shit just got real.

What’s Batman’s least favourite album? A Night at the Opera.

Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana BATMAN! Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana BATMAN! -Me, sorting through my grandma’s mail.

It’s illegal to tie your children to things but you can basically do the same by buying them a phone with a short charger and a bad battery.

I started to sing the poop song Dad said it was crappy.

How tall does the grass grow in Germany? Nein feet tall.