Cop: You know why I pulled you over sir? Me: Because you suck at finding rapists, murders, molesters, thieves, and arsonists?

How do you kill a vampire dinosaur? You stakeasaurus.

Weird Question in Exam Q) What do you find in cells? My Ans) Black People . . . I dont know why do they ask such weird questions in biology.

What do you get when you cross a slaughterhouse worker and a bad comedian? A bunch of butchered jokes

My extra sensitive toothpaste cries when I don’t brush my teeth

A fireman’s pole is a stripper’s pole that takes you places.

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening? Have a nice bite!

Why is the blood of christ wine? Because he drank religiously

Why didn’t Rivendell help Gondor? Elfish reasons.

ME: My husband says you use special traps that put the mice outside to play with their friends EXTERMINATOR [LOOKS AT HUSBAND]: umm, yeaahh