I got jury duty next week My duty is to convince the jury that I didn’t do it.

You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets.

A hippie is walking along A Hippy is walking along wearing one shoe. Another hippy sees him and calls out, ‘Hey man, you lose a shoe?’ “Nope, found one”

Why did the grinch cross the road? HE HAS TOO MUCH LONGER LEG !!!!

If a red man lives in a red house, a blue man lives in a blue house….. a green man lives in a green house. Then who lives in the white house? A black man

Meet my good friend 50 Cent, or as he’s known across the pond… 10,000 Pounds

What does it mean when you’re on a date and he pushes you in front of a bus?

What’s a ego maniac’s favorite candy? Air heads

My gay friend told me he loves living in Pennsylvania. He’s never seen so many assholes in his life.

Uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh huh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh huh Me, Rap battling