I love linguistics Its the only class where I can talk about vowel movements.

Did you know that if you drop and break a piece of folk art, it just turns into more folk art?

The moral of “The Three Little Pigs” is “make your house with bricks.” Why are we giving four year olds architectural advice?

“I never weigh myself” -People who weigh themselves daily

My grandpa said that this generation relies too much on technology. I told him his generation relied on it more. Then I unplugged his life support.

Yo mama so ugly that not even goldfish crackers smile back

Dudes that flip off the camera in pictures want you to know that they’re tough and strong and not afraid of any fucking camera.

How many spiders are in your vagina RIGHT NOW? The answer may surprise you.

Who will inherit all of Trump’s money? His hair.

Knock Knock Who’s there ! Cugat ! Cugat who ? Cugat to love my jokes !