Q. What is the color of the wind? A. Blew.

If you’re not part of the solution, I think… well, technically, that makes you insoluble sediment.

My life is a circus… I once juggled three fire-breathing girlfriends. Bah-da-BING!

Marriage is like a hurricane… Starts with a bunch of sucking and blowing, and at the end you lose your house.

What is big black and long. The lines at KFC

I saw that a fellow Redditor needed a liver. Lets just say (_) / ( _)>- / (_) OP De-livered   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Not ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^a ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^true ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^story

Why is it so tough to please girls? They take classes on mass debating.

When the priest says “Body of Christ” I say “Thanks, I’ve been working out.” Then I grab the cracker and run back to my seat.

Two cows were talking in a field.. One said to the other, “Have you heard about that mad cow disease?” The other says, “Yeah, good thing we’re penguins”.

Don’t take a shower when you’re drunk. The curtain does not support you when you fall. Trust me.