I Am a spy who has worked for the Mossad the last 23 years. Ask Me Nothing.

Cool prank: Dig up 200 earthworms. I will tell you about the rest of the prank later

I bet some astronomers can’t tell black holes apart because they’re racists.

How do Jedi warm up for sexy time? Forceplay

Why is a Mexican midget called a paragraph? Because he isn’t a full ese.

How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

I complimented my chemistry professor, who’s from Germany, “Sir, you’re so effervescent.” He replied, “Did you effer see me when I effer vasn’t?”

Where do the Japanese store defective mannequin feet? In bent-toe boxes.

I slept like a log, which means my underside was moist and bugs kept crawling up my crack.

What do you get if a convict goes camping? Criminal Intent.