The industrious prostitute Well there was this prostitute who had a vagina surgically implanted in her hip…so she could make some money on the side.

Did you know that if you stab a salad 23 times, It becomes a Caesar Salad

How do you find a blind man at a nude beach. It’s not hard

You know what really breaks my heart? Cholesterol.

I wish my race was bred fast and strong… Oh wait, no I dont.

What is the only thing that will be “Feeling the Bern”? Working people’s wallets.

What do you call a happy cow? Laughing stock. What do you call a grumpy cow? A Feminist

Why should you wear leather when playing Hide and Seek? Because it’s made of hide.

I just became the mayor of “Giving Away Tons of Personal Data to Corporations and Government Agencies Because I’m an Idiot” on FourSquare!

How do you call a play on numbers? A pin.