A horse walks into a bar… …and the bartender says “Heeeeyeyeyeyey, why the looooong face?” And the horse replies “Because the guy telling the joke that I’m starring in has bad…comic…*timing.*”

A programmers wife tells him… A programmers wife tells him: Run to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen. The programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread…

Yo mamma so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.

Why can’t you fool an aborted fetus Because it wasn’t born yesterday

“This is some good shit!” A gourmet fly.

what do you get if you mix a dachsund with a cocker spaniel/ poodle mix? A cockadockapoo.

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool? “Please get out of the pool.”

Two muffins are sitting in an oven The first muffin turns to the other and says “gee it’s hot in here” The other muffin replies “holy shit! A talking fucking muffin!”

Since I started looking, I’ve noticed instances of confirmation bias all over Reddit.

How does an international banker have a good Friday night? He goes to a bar and slips somebody a Rupee, then gives them a Franc and some Deutsche Marks.