I like my women like I like my coffee, passed through the digestive system of a cat

One day, when you least expect it, every single one of your problems will finally be gone. Oddly enough, so will you.

Doctor how much time do I have left? Doctor: Ten Ten what? Doctor: Nine

How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don’t know… I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one.

What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas? It was wound up already.

Napolean had a brother But you probably didn’t know since they were bornaparte!

What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine? You don’t have to hug a washing machine half an hour after it finishes

isnt it cool how we all accepted that we all know the names of streaming porn sites and didnt ask each other how we knew of them

*puts leash around pet lobster* I think there will be games and lots of friends to play with Pinchy *walks into Lobsterfest* COVER YOUR EYES

If you pronounce coupon like qpon I hope you get eaten by a qgar