Don’t listen to people who tell you not to stay up late. They’re just trying to trick you into being a well-rested person who isn’t anxious.

We’ve all seen that person on Social Media who likes to debate things as if they are a college professor. Dude…you’re arguing with someone who uses “dat”

A man and a woman are having sex, when her husband comes early… she is sad.

A dog will never borrow money from you, and that’s why he’s man’s best friend.

My girlfriend’s body is like poetry… …It bores me. *I really love my girlfriend, and her body is not like poetry, just so ya know :p

A man took his family to the zoo The only animal in the zoo was a dog. It was a Shih Tzu.

Interview with Hitler When asked whether or not he would repeat the Holocaust again. Hitler replied…. Fuhrer sure!!!!

I’m like Helen of Troy. Not in the sense of being breathtakingly beautiful, but in the sense of pissing people off and starting wars

You ever notice how an electric pencil sharpener and a cat’s butt look the same? They even make the same noise when you stick a pencil in it: Rar, Rar, Rar, Rar….

Why was afraid of ? Because !