What do eggs do for fun? They crack jokes.

I like my women like I like my coffee… …with extra large cups.

Stationary Thief Hits Police Headquarters: Police say they can’t rule anything out.

My girlfriend said I have crusty feet. I blame my socks.

My ex told me that Gaga’s “Bad Romance” song reminds him of me. Now I’m glad I dumped him. What sort of idiot admits to listening to Gaga.

My cell phone fell in the pool…now I know what it feels like to have someone you love drown.

England soccer team have got a new captain today His names George Smith and he’ll be flying the A380 back to Heathrow..

What’s Superman’s greatest weakness? Horses

You hear some creature making noises in the distance. “Quick! Quick! Quick, quick, quick!” you hear it exclaim. What kind of beast is it you hear? A duck. … with hiccups.

There’s a movie coming out about a big rig truck. Have you seen the trailer?