Why did the bible cross the street? To get to the other genocide.

Tigers blood gave Charlie Sheen HIV

Where is the biggest jews concentration? In the air.

“If you have any questions, just ask. My door is always open.” said the boss at my new job. “Why do you need a door then?” I asked him.

Do you know why the bike couldnt stand by itself? It was TWO TIRED!!!

“It just feels so good to have a clean apartment!” – someone who’s never killed a bear with a sword

How come girls always brag about being “reunited” with their friends? Quit that shit. You aren’t Outkast. You’re just two chicks.

Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store? For the watch

OMINOUS CHANTING *pentagram starts to glow* YES! RISE DARK LORD! RISE! *Satan tosses pillow through portal* UNGH 5 MORE MINUTES!!!

I don’t know why everyone is hating on this mayweather it’s beautiful out.