Why don t women have men s brains? Because they don’t have penises to put them in

Even if you don’t pay, they’ll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.

Hallucination An optical delusion.

I got dumped by the personal trainer I was dating. When I asked why, she said we just weren’t working out.

Why do sanitary towel adverts always feature a liquid which is blue? Are aliens their primary customers?

Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!

Dates are cool when I tell them I worked in a prison for twenty five years. But man, if I forget that a’…

Guys, I figured out a better way to pretend you died mid-type! All you need to do is hold dooooooooooooooooooooooo

Jessica fell out of a tree and broke both her arms. Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Jessica

Whats the difference between three cocks and a joke….. your mom can’t take a joke