Why don’t Australians have sex? Because they mate. …I’ll let myself out.

I was going to make a joke about amplifiers but I got too much negative feedback.

What’s the point of having nice tits if you’re going to cover them up? Stop being so fucking greedy and unbutton your shirt like I do.

When I was young I wanted to join the basketball team… but the coach said they didn’t need more basket balls

Why doesn’t Mrs. Clean get pregnant? Because Mr. Clean comes in a bottle.

If you don’t have anything nice to say I would probably enjoy spending time with you

My Uncle has a coal fetish. Its why he likes to bang miners.

Another off color limerick A sperm, alack and forsooth Was at it’s moment of sexual truth It had hoped to fall On the womb’s spongy wall But was dashed to it’s death on a tooth!

They say I can take the catheter out next week. And no, I’ll never piss on an electric fence again

Difference between power and stamina? Power is when a man can hang a wet towel over his erect penis. Stamina is to keep the penis erect till the towel dries.