Little-known fact: Jesus baked a perfect and delicious cake for the Last Supper. It is referred to as the Immaculate Confection.

“Two birds with one stone, how about all the birds” God thinks, hurling an asteroid toward Earth

I always eat tacos over a tortilla, so when stuff falls out BOOM extra taco

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but they’d have to be really small.

Save your money …you never know when your friends will need it.

What’s a trees favorite drink? Root beer

My son told me all females have nice butts in yoga pants, so I took him to Walmart so he could see the error of his thoughts.

Why would a monster be big, green and scaly?. Cuz if he were small, white and smooth hed be a Tic Tac.

I like telling science puns… Just to see the reaction…

I created a robot that serves me pumpkin spice lattes… Naturally, I coded in BASIC