I don’t like telling people who have Beatlemania a joke. If they don’t get it, they just won’t let it be.

What did the electrician say while swimming across a river? “Oh my God, that’s a lot of current!”

How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped? Wall-sits.

What do you call a nose that can see into the future? Nostrildamus

I found a new passion yesterday pairing socks. I guess I just enjoy bringing sole mates together.

Fun prank: Find a sleeping spider, crawl in its mouth and lay your eggs. Turn the tables. Give nature the finger. Live it up.

10 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed… …One fell off and snapped his neck. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said: “It’s no use, this monkey is dead!”

Why is everyone investing in Ireland? … because the capital is always Dublin!

How do you cook toilet paper? You brown it on one side

Plagiarism Hey! I invented a new word: plagiarism.