Where does Fred Weasley shop? Forever 21.

yeah, we r a non-traditional family. instead of naming our dog, we let him name us. I’m Woof, this is my husband Woof, & these r Woof & Woof

[hospital] “The results are in. I’m afraid you have Bad Priorities Disease. You have 1 month to live.” But does my hair look good?

Did you hear Elon Musk just started a new breakfast foods company? What else can you expect from a cereal entrepreneur!

Little Known Fact: Bon Jovi has five brothers: Bon Joi, Bon Joii, Bon Joiii, Bon Joiv and Bon Jov

There’s an Anti-Parallelogram Party tonight. Be there, or be square.

Soccer player calls his wife after a game… Player: “I scored two goals!!” Wife: “Great! What was the end scored?” Player: “1:1”

*dinosaur at zoo roars at me* “ROAR” whoa wat kimd of dinosaur is this “GROWL” hmm “SHOUT” hmmm “YELL” hmmmmm “HOLLER” oh its a thesaurus

I made half a cup of tea the other day… It was so nice I had two.

Where does Crazy Horse live? In an unstable.