What do you call a black man flying an airplane? Pilot.

whats the difference between 3 dicks and a joke? Your mum cant take a joke

If we replace all “Chuck Norris” jokes with Kim Jung Un…. We could write the North Korean Official Website.

The first sign I wasn’t going to be a doctor is when I called Anatomy “Skeleton Class.” Sign two was failing skeleton class.

What do you call the person that cleans the Mafia’s hotel rooms? A maid man.

A spider just fell from the ceiling and landed right in front of me and now I have to explain why a woman was screaming in my cubicle.

This morning I combed my son’s hair sideways and to the front then yelled “you just got Bieber’d!” He’s not talking to me.

Seriously…if you need a sign to remind you to wash your hands after taking a shit or piss. Stay home

Why did God invent shopping carts? To teach women how to walk on their hind legs.

I was sitting on the toilet, constipated… The undropped turd asked me, “Man, what did you eat?!” “A pound of cheese,” I said. The turd said, “You’re shittin’ me.” I said, “I shit you not.”