Some people say i’m conflicted… I’m not so sure.

Chuck Norris does not eat honey, he eats bees.

*sits son down for the talk* You ready? “Yeah” Ok. When a man and a woman love each other- *pulls out Pokeball* -they throw this at a baby

I like to cry sometimes so people think I know how to chop onions.

What’s the strongest color? Super Cyan

How do Mexicans keep their food warm? Chicken Fajitas.

I bought my girlfriend a treadmill and a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.

Press control, alt, and down arrow key. it’s fun.

I don’t always start a joke without finishing it, but when I d

Why did the Redneck cross the road? Because he couldn’t get his dick out of the chicken.