What did one hat say to the other? “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead….”

1915-17 may have been the worst years in human history for food poisoning. 1.5 million Armenians died from bad turkey.

There are only 10 bad people in the world.. And i get Christmas cards from 9 of them.

How did cell embarrass vegeta? He put a hole in his trunks.

#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly A raccoon and a tree commit multiple felonies

*whispers seductively in your ear* “…look at that last slice of pizza and you’re dead to me…”

What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff.

Why did Mr. Pibb go see Dr. Pepper at Rehab? Because he was addicted to Coke.

What’s the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people!

I can’t turn my head very far in either direction It’s a pain in the neck! My mom made that up.