What do you call homosexual Israelites? Fruit Jews

“How many people here believe in ghosts?”

My wife told me she “likes it rough.” So I replaced the toilet paper roll with a sandpaper roll. -how guys understand women

I saw a sign that said “hiring carpenters” My brother said “let’s be honest, that should say ‘hiring Mexicans.’”

oooh pretty wing tattoos on your back, do they symbolize how you have no idea how big wings need to be to carry your weight

I used to be indecisive. But now I’m not so sure.

I started a book club. A coloring book club. There’s a line to get in. We’re never on the same page. Nothing’s black & white. We’re well red

The people you lose sleep over don’t lose sleep over you. So, help out and drunk dial them at 3AM….

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

There’s safety in numbers. Unless there’s 6,000,000 of you. And you’re all Jews.