A man is kicked off a plane for playing online games. He was simply trying to have fun above all.

LIKE if you don’t ring the doorbell… You just text or call to say you’re outside.

Corduroy Pillow “Did you guys hear about those new corduroy pillows?” [silence] “No? I heard they were making headlines”

My local council just installed a zebra crossing near the primary school What a waste of money, I’ve never even seen a zebra in this town

Once you go black, you can always go back to having coffee with milk, there’s really no set in stone rules here.

Why is santa’s sack so big? Because he only cums around once a year

“I could eat.” – How I answer most questions, even if they’re not food-related.

Who makes the music for the Marvel movies? The Avengers Ensemble.

At first I didn’t like my beard.. But now it’s starting to grow on me.

You may have a drinking problem – when your mother asks you to toast the bread…..and you raise your glass and say “here’s to the bread”!