What is smarter? What is smarter, longitude or latitude?…Longitude, because it has 360 degrees.

It’s pretty racist that Denzel Washington keeps getting typecasted as black men.

I used the think that correlation implied causation, but now I know that it doesn’t. I took a statistics class last year, and that might have helped, but I’m not so sure.

I Feel Really Safe There are police helicopter circling my house.

I have my entire Valentine’s day planned with my toaster! Okay, so first, we’re going to take a bath.

Einstein came up with a theory about space… and it was about time too!

My friend fell into the gelatto machine. Ice creamed in terror.

I am not sure if I need to get beat up, broke as hell and drive a P.O.S car to get a hot girlfriend. Because that’s all I see, ugly is the new hot!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from Gordon ramsey

Kanye West is now on Twitter. Since he doesn’t follow anyone, not only will he not let you finish, he’s not gonna let you start, either.