How do they even grow a boneless chicken?

What’s in an Irish 7 course meal? A 6 pack and a potato.

Recycling Jesus died for our bins.

I bought a new lock for my bedroom door Wound up getting half off when it didn’t work.

My rubberband gun was confiscated in Algebra class It was a weapon of math disruption!

Me: omg can smoking weed make u hallucinate? Dog making pancakes: lol that wasn’t weed dude

Liquor probably won’t fix your problems… but it’s worth a shot.

I like my women like I like my Pistachio nuts. Easy to get inside or else I’ll just move onto the next. Ha ha only joking. I’m so lonely.

What does a mathematician do when he is constipated? He works it out with a pencil.

Arrested at the Zoo. I got arrested at the zoo the other day for having sex with a baby gorilla. When I asked the officer what I was being charged with he responded “Statutory Ape”.