What are condoms? Something your worthless fuckup of a father couldn’t afford.

Mom thinks I run google 😀 [Mom thinks I run google – My Funny Mom](http://www.etcpb.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Mom-thinks-I-run-google.jpg)

Who Shot First? Boba Fett or Jango Fett? Han Solo

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked “do you have any luggage, Sir?” The photon replies “no, I’m travelling light”

What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom? A swipe and wipe.

My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he’s attempting to get his hoodie back. He’s in for one hell of a life lesson.

One of those people out there with protected tweets is your therapist passing your problems off as jokes.

What room does a ghost not need? A living room

I’d make jokes about midgets, but that would be little of me.

Two guys on /r/Jokes walk into a bar One adds lines after the punchline, while the other doesn’t. The one who never adds these extra lines kicks the one who does. Son of a b****!