I joked at school drop off that the white stuff on my kid was powdered sugar, not cocaine, but I took it too far by rubbing some on my gums.

What’s it called when a Roman sees too many flashing colors? A Julius Seizure.

I once went 11 years without Masterbating… Then I turned 12

Me? Need a Bag? Nah chill son, Ima juggle this 6 pack of beer and watermelon on my head while riding a scooter.

I saw a dramatic comedy about a guy with PbA. The plot was confusing… I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry..

What did I do before Twitter? Well, there’s my family and……OH MY GOD WHERE’S MY FAMILY?!?!

A skeleton walks into a bar… and he says to the bartender… “Give me a beer and give me a mop!”

What did the house say to the other house when it fell on it. Get off me Homes.

I don’t like jokes about midgets… …they’re low-hanging fruit.

What’s got two wings, a tail and twenty five pricks? England’s return flight.