Instead of racism or misogyny, why not hate the people who wear pyjamas and slippers to the airport?

(JOKE).”KERMIT THE FROG” vanndukeandsammy sammy:what is kermit the frog favorite food?….vann duke: I don’t know,tell me what is kermit the frog favorite food?….sammy:french flies!

when I see a Facebook relationship status ‘it’s complicated’ I imagine love through wormholes over tens of thousands of years, alien biology

If the FBI wants to get into people’s iPhone’s without permission… They should just ask U2

For my photography project, I took my camera to a strip club Everyone in my photos came out a little over-exposed.

Boy if these walls could talk I’d be like “HOLY SHIT TALKING WALLS”

Lets role play I’ll be Osama, You be a cave, and I’ll hide up inside you

Dracula Why is Dracula’s favorite subject in school Math? Because he likes to Count.

Zoo visitor: What’s the new baby hippo’s name? Hippopotamus keeper: I don’t know he won’t tell me.

How many Horsemen of the Apocalypse does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. War never changes.