Lawyer Joke 🙂 What’s the difference between a Lawyer & a Hooker? A hooker quits screwing you when you’re dead 🙂

What is the capital of Greece? More than the capital of the UK.

First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No I’m having a witch do. First boy: What’s a witch do? Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells.

A bit rapey.. The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did too, she began running so I ran too, she screamed so I screamed as well. I never even saw what we were running from.

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to… Unless you’re in prison (I’ll see myself out)

One time I walked in on my brother, masturbating. We locked eyes for what felt like forever. Then he yelled, “Why the hell are you masturbating!?”

How’d the husband know his wife was fooling around? Got home from work, kicked off her panties, and they stuck to the wall

Where’d the rabbi stay on business? The L’Hyatt

ur mama is sooo fat she sat on a dollar and made 4 quarters pop out.

I wish life was more like hockey… Who doesn’t want a horn to sound when their period ends?