What Are Donald Trump’s favorite kind of nuts? Wall nuts.

Don’t forget to pay your taxes this year so the Government can give it to people that don’t work as hard as you.

What’s the worst part about raping a deaf chick? You have to cut her fingers off so she can’t tell anyone!

What do you get when you squeeze a Synagogue? Jews.

Teachers at school: She seems to be expressing an inner need for control. Teachers at a bar: I want to punch that kid in the face.

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEE

*runs into wife on the way to see his mistress* Aww are those flowers for me? -Uh…yeah Is there a card too? *with a mouthful of paper* No

REMINDER: If men could get pregnant, birth control would be in Hooters’ wing sauce.

I walked into a lesbian karate class. All that they were doing was scissor kicks.

Q: What do a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? A: By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.