“Son, I wanted to let you know you were adopted,” my dad told me. “Are you kidding? Really?” I shouted. “Yup, get ready,” he said. “They’ll be picking you up in about an hour.”

Why do tachyons program in assembly? Because it’s faster then C

I’m not paranoid, but I feel like there’s someone reading this…

Where do kids with ADHD go for the summer? Concentration camp.

What do you call it when Batman leaves church early? Christian Bale

Whats the difference between racism and asians? Racism has many faces.

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed. HA.

There are 11 types of people in the world… Those that understand binary, those that don’t, and those that thought this would be the 10 kinds of people joke.

My teacher always hated my answers to her math questions. “If I have 6 candy bars in one hand and 7 in the other, what do I have?” Diabetes?

I was worried about the population problem But then I realized we just shouldn’t give a fuck.