Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? – A: It stole the show!

Why did 8 break up with 7? Because 7 always came first!!!

The best part of Halloween is all the Jehovah’s Witnesses wondering why they’re being given candy.

Ebola causes nausea, headaches and is hard to get rid of. Is it a disease or a U2 album?

I was in a masturbating competition… I came 1st twice!

I dropped my phone in the bath Now it’s syncing.

Masturbation should be considered a craft… as it is 100% hand made.

If your going to be two faced at least make one of them pretty.

I could never be friends with a dildo. They’re stuck-up cunts.

What sound does a bouncing plane make? Boeing boeing boeing