Santa: its snowing Christmas is canceled Put everything in the garbage Elves: no! Rudolph: what if I told you I had a very small red light

What do you get if you cross a SJW and Jason Voorhees? Social justice.

If you were on top of a pile of gay guys… would you get off?

How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? I don’t know, they’re all too busy complaining about this joke.

You can tell Monopoly’s an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

I must have a nice butt, because, everytime I’m walking away from talking to someone they say “What an ass?”

[wakes up from a 72-year-long coma] oh nazis are still a thing huh

Baby, did you sit on my F5 key? Cuz dat ass is refreshing.

Love doesn’t walk away, people do.

Twitter 1 Act: -Person misreads sarcasm -You point out it’s sarcasm -“I know I was being sarcastic back” -Sharpen pencil, jam it in own eye