Why do scuba divers falls backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.

Is “humpty dumpty” another way of saying “fuck and forget”?

Me: No, you hang up first Pizza Hut: *click*

Did you hear about the magic tractor? Turned into a field.

How do you unload a truck load of puppies? With a pitchfork

Did you hear the joke about the sewing machine? It’ll leave you in stitches!

What does a mother use to keep her childrens’ toenails soft and smooth? A pedi-file

I can never decide whether to slam on my breaks or go through a yellow light, so I do an annoying combination.

Dear naps, I’m sorry I was a jerk to you in kindergarten

I laughed at a lot of the posts here on Reddit. They /r/jokes.